Welcome to my world

So I got a Question

2006-02-05T19:37:00.000-08:00

Is it better to keep trying and keep hope or is it better to admit defeat? If you like someone and have for a while and they havn't shown any signs of likeing u?

Candle light

2006-01-23T13:39:00.000-08:00

fun

2006-01-21T14:45:00.000-08:00

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion		56%
Stability		40%
Orderliness		63%
Accommodation		56%
Interdependence		70%
Intellectual		70%
Mystical		63%
Artistic		70%
Religious		90%
Hedonism		10%
Materialism		36%
Narcissism		36%
Adventurousness		23%
Work ethic		43%
Self absorbed		56%
Conflict seeking		50%
Need to dominate		30%

Romantic		83%
Avoidant		23%
Anti-authority		43%
Wealth		43%
Dependency		16%
Change averse		70%
Cautiousness		76%
Individuality		43%
Sexuality		70%
Peter pan complex		50%
Physical security		70%
Physical Fitness		70%
Histrionic		43%
Paranoia		56%
Vanity		16%
Hypersensitivity		56%
Female cliche		23%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

pics

2006-01-07T15:55:00.000-08:00

Here are some of my latest photographs tell me what you think...

2:15- 2:27

2005-12-27T01:10:00.000-08:00

Wow its 2:15, i can't sleep... I am so pathtic I just don't get it. I have no self effsteam anymore. I mean ugh when it come to girls and that stuff. Maybe reality has just finally sunk in after 4 yrs. I used to think i had a sreten carm or something about me that made me attactive to girls but i am now questioning that thought... Ever sence i broke up with amanda i just haven't felt like i have any of that carm if i had any to begin with... I wish i could ask my ex's what attrated them to me, i mean hopefully it was more than just feeling sorry for me. Ugh i suck apperntly when it come to reading signs because acorred to chris and kelby a girl at the movie theatre was flirting with me but i don't think she was but what ever. There are a lot of girls in my life and i find a lot of them attractive, but wouldn't go out with them or they more likely wouldn't go out with me for many reasons. a) being they aren't in the state, or we are to good of friends. b) and more importantly because this includes the girls from (a) they don't like me any more then a friend. The thing that pisses me off the most is that i know everything above shouldn't really effect me the way it dose i mean i know my life dosn't suck don't get me wrong! I just wish i had someone that cared for me more than a friend, someone that i can talk to about everything, someone i can just know will be there for me, someone to hold, someone to fall alseep watching a movie with. Ugh, i am a stupid romantic apperntly. well i am gona try and sleep...

All the things i can't say

2005-12-14T19:54:00.000-08:00

I know i wine here alot but hey its an out let so screw it, your the one reading my post. Life has been wounderful lately. Last friday was one of the best days i have had in a while. A Friend finally convenced me to go jogging something i like to do but haven't in a long time. Its was really fun. The funnest i have ever had jogging! Then i went out with the "gang" to see narina which was amazing! Austin, Shara, andd I went to walgreens and had some lets say interesting times, haha! Monday went jogging agian, that when being out of shape really hit me. So here is the wineing, I am confused about something. More like feelings because i want something or to do something but i am hestant because of my past. I mean its stupid really but none the less its there. on another side note i wish i could just tell people to there faces when they are being morons and pissing me off but that would create more problems then it would solve. But once finals are over i will be happy and maybe firgure out somestuff...

hmmm

2005-11-28T18:27:00.000-08:00

hey i know its been a long time but i have had a lot to do and really i haven't felt like it. I have been on one hell of a rollar coster ride sence summer. I have gone through a lot and have finaly come to the conclusion after my break up with amanda my self confidence has been little to nothing and i have been tring to rebuild that. Concedering i hit an all time low sence 6th grade... but life is life. if you look at the bright side i have already gone through this once so it should be easyer just do the things that work right? well as a lay awake every night and time which i do alot because i think i close my self to my life till i go to bed and then it overwhelms me... i haven't done what works really because of what amanda said to me, and emmy did to me i came to the conclusion that no one cared to hear my crap and if they said so they we just being polite. honestly idk if that isn't true... but idk because i am putting it here for anyone to read. I am scared of college, not of going but what it means and stressed about getting into it because your life is shape so much by that school. i just hope i am going the right way. then my friends well chris, we aren't so much a like i mean we were like clones befor now we went totaly oppist ways and thats just weird i mean is this what happens in life when i get out of high school will we go are diffent ways will i with all my friends. I have so many great friends and i love them all but what dose life have in store? Laru boon is one of the coolest people i know she is in ohio and puts up with my shit! that a big thing! but she seems to know what she wants for her self and has such a special personality that is so amazing to me that it is hard to put it into words. Then pat laruan jessica phil kelsy what fantasic people are you. life isn't all simles i know this i just wish there was someone there for me where i could hug and hold and just feel like life is going to be ok...

Life = Good

2005-10-18T14:20:00.000-07:00

Well it is fall break and as its is i am very bored i have been looking back on the last few months or so and have noticed a huge change in me. not into some one else but back into someone i was... when i went out with amanda for almost six months she became such a part of my life that i ended up depending on that which was bad as she broke up with me... I see now that it was a good thing and that me likeing her agian was just me still trying to find my slef agian. I think i am almost there. I am happy then i have felt in a long time and have more freinds then ever! I have really been going to church a lot and lovee my yought group they are really amazing! Then there is the coolest group on earth "super group" (you know who u r)! Love them phil is a great guy and will rock CU! Austin well he finds ways to amaze me everyday, Lauran(sp) well she is a tom boy and that rocks my socks off, Shara is so nice i still need to get to know her better and last but not least jessica a little small yes but she is so funny and sweet! she always gets the best lines in the play she slaps a boy who trys to kiss her and says "Who cares about the money i want his hide"! Then i have even got a crush on a couple of girls although i don't think they like me back thats cool i am just going with the flow. I feel great right now!

Hmm 3 topics

2005-10-10T18:36:00.000-07:00

OK so when will people grow up? i don't know. Gossip rummors oh my! girls really piss me off. its not like it was me this time but it was just that a group of people, i mean girls, we in one of my classes talking about who has screwed who. My question is why the hell do you care it none of your benussess i mean it not just that topic but any thing. Like who is doing what or who is kissing who or who has done something. Why are people so interested in stuff that has nothing to do with them! Grow up and just live our own lives not everyone elses.

on a side note i want my life to be like a musical! i mean ok this is gona sound girly i know but who dosn't want to find love in the way musicals do! Music man is awsome!

Are we growing up, or just going down?It's just a matter of time until we're all found outTake our tears, put 'em on ice.'Cause I swear I'd burn the city down to show you the light.

2005-10-08T14:04:00.000-07:00

Hey look at my room! I know its bright but i love it !

My senoir pic...

2005-09-29T17:17:00.000-07:00

Here they are in all their glory... or not...

Homecomming pics

2005-09-28T16:29:00.000-07:00

This is our group! In order from left to right. Matt(me), Kelsy(my date), kiven, amy, jessica, Phill(the king), Luran, Her date(idk his name).

There you go Boom- Boom lol. I posted this just of you! Hope your haveing a blast at college, I am so jealous, high school drama sucks, u know what i mean.

the dance

2005-09-25T19:43:00.000-07:00

homecoming was awsome, it so so much fun! i had a blast i am so white thought, i can't dance. But i am a theatre kids so i don't care! emmy, kristan, and katie rock my world! they party boyed me! Dinner was awsome were played pool and hung out. It was a blast!

- though on a side note i didn't like slow danceing because it always better to slow dance with someone u really care about... but thats life.

Homecoming week!

2005-09-23T21:25:00.000-07:00

monday-
It was hat day, at school which is fun. the music man pratic.

Tuseday-
Super hero day , my friend patric dressed up at superman it was so funny, i wanted to be Quila man from the show Dough Funny but i did have any whity tithies...

Wed-
was viva los vaigous, i just kinda dressed up, charily was a cassino boss it was awsome! then i went to work which was fun i work with courtney and jackie and they are really cool and fun!

Thurs-
was field day which was fun but it wasn't great... Senoir 06 oh yah!

Fri-
no school, i went out looked for carpet for my basement its almost done i am so excited! then went on the senoir float to the game, which we won 56-6 oh yah! then phil my home boy won king and we went to cold stone! then i came home to write this.

i would have to say there has been one bad thing this week and its the reason i came home early but over all this has been a good week!

Numb understanding

2005-09-16T21:02:00.000-07:00

I can't act I suck! i mean people say i am good but that is just niceties which i like but the truth my friends have spelled out "i am sorry i laughed at you on stage" " You were ok..." " Your a medicor actor" I know this and i know i suck i shouldn't even be in theatre. Then two people came which i still respect them both but they didn't even look at me but pointed and laughed yah i suck! i am this bad in tech too? i am thinking of just stoping it all. ugh! so much i wanted to say but i just more wining and no one wants to hear that shit i been told that but at least on person so i'll shut up...

Girls i'll never get them!

2005-09-14T13:52:00.000-07:00

so here is what pissing me off to no end. i liked this girl and ex, you know who she is, now which i can't stand her and as of right now me + her = hate! i will not go on as what i have to say would only sevre to piss more people off at me which at this moment i have enough people pissed at me...

New favorit song/band Eve 6

2005-09-09T17:22:00.000-07:00

"Girlfriend"
Your really gone, girlfriendThe dryer's on, AmenAnd im alone for the first time(I walk away now [x2])You left a sock, girlfriendWheres the pair brokenAre you aware that im missing you(I walk away now [x2])but I cant run to you no moreto catch me when im fallingI know I have to let you goBut I will not be brokenNo I will not be brokenBut keep the slow fading memoriesThis place is strange, emptyYou did your time, plentyAnd the walls are bare where your pictures hungBut I cant call you up no moreAnd no we cant just be friendsbut now its time to let you gobut I will not be brokenno I will not be brokenand keep the slowly fadingmemories memoriesI'm keeping these memoriesI cant run to you no moreto catch me when im fallinI know I have to let you goBut I will not be brokenFor ever tear a lesson learnedEvery good time goldenBut now its time to let you goAnd I will not be brokenAnd I will not be brokenNo I will not be brokenBut keep the slowly fading memories

life update

2005-09-08T17:25:00.000-07:00

School: well it is school and that said, it not bad, i am haveing lots of fun in photo 2, Mike utter and i went down to red rocks and used two rolls of film. we both shot a deer well with the camras, it was preety cool we got like 5 feet away at one point. Econ has to be one of the boringest classes ever its pointless and the teacher sucks! Physics is fun we play with toy cars all the time that rocks. Then there is theatre...

Theatre: I am in feiffers people which is a collection of short skits, I can't act to save my life, i know i will freez up there i'm first on in the play... Then there is Music man which is awsome but i am worried i took on a lot i know i can do it but it might stress me out

Stress: well thats my life... weither it be girls homework school or other i live with stress but latly its been to much. I amited i wanted to just scream a few times well more then a few. But one thing i've learned about my self it that i am ok with shareing some stuff with people but i really don't like to share everything... which leads to a problem when it comes to working out my problems because i don't openly share with people and lately i just get really hurt when i do so i am wary about doing that which as more then a few poeple have told me is a bad thing. but until i get over it i will just go running...

p.s. sorry about the massive grammor errors...

2005-09-03T07:31:00.000-07:00

I am sick of the bull shit of thw wrold. I am sick of life as it is. I really don't fit in anymore with anyone one. I have no one to talk to any more so i hold it in and go insane! WEKCOME TO MY LIFE!
GOD I HATE PEOPLE DRAMA JUST FOLLOWS THEM FUCK THEM ALL AND JENNI IF U READ THIS SHUT UP!

What a stupid song!

2005-09-02T16:32:00.000-07:00

I heard this song on the radio have no idea who it is by what do u think?

My Beating Heart

One more time
Hurt and confused
You make me crazy
But I can’t stop my beating heart

I can’t help but to think back
Just you and me
Those times of joy and love
Playing in the rain
Holding you in my arms
Just you and me

I can’t stop my beating heart
If only I could
Forget you and move on

These eyes flow like a waterfall
In memory, in lose
Praying for strength

One more time hurt and confused
You make me crazy
But I can’t stop my beating heart
It does not come

Sunday wow no time

2005-08-28T20:09:00.000-07:00

ok so today i woke up at 8 30 got dressed ate a large breakfeast, sunday is the only day i really eat a good breakfast so i eat well, anyways went to sunday school, lots of fun. Came home worked on eassy, then went to patanical gradens till 4ish. then came home continued work on eassy and went to yg for the night. That was fun but a lot of work and no time! but i like it that way i don't get bored! well its late as u can tell bye my typing so i am going to bed.

Friday yah

2005-08-27T15:40:00.000-07:00

Yah fir friday nights! OK so last night i went to the frist football game of the year, we kicked skyline's ass! 26-0 anyways it was a lot of fun. I got my friend to go which almost made me drope dead in surpise i mean this was his frist school activety in 4 yrs haha no dances no nothing! Then we all went to amy's house and hung out. I have senior pics tommarow and a party to night so i will write more later.

Yah! Drama Nerd

2005-08-25T18:20:00.000-07:00

You scored as Drama nerd.

Drama nerd

81%

Loner

44%

Stoner

31%

Ghetto gangsta

31%

Prep/Jock/Cheerleader

31%

Geek

25%

Punk/Rebel

19%

Goth

13%

What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com

Reconized

2005-08-22T15:19:00.000-07:00

I have a bone to pick. I am a "techy" or work behind the sence on plays and musicals, i do this not because i can't sing or act but beacuse i perfer to do tech. I also know that techies don't get as much priays. I not saying i wouldn't like it come on i like to be the center of attion every once in a while who doesn't but i would at least be reconized for my effort. i put in ten times more work then most actors and yet get little "good jobs" from my peers. idk just recently some people have pissed me off with the insevive braging that they are in the musical when i my self am also in it yet (he/she) dosn't bother to mention me. Idk but some time i would like to be reconized also but w/e.
ps. school isn't as bad as i thought it would be so life is good haha

b-day

2005-08-14T18:40:00.000-07:00

ok so yesterday was my b-day, i didn't do anything for it persay. My youth group had planned to go paintballing that day so i did that. A lot of fun wow! Then i came home burned the dvd for later that night. i then went to the mission trip rap up part where my dvd was shown. Left there around 9 and went to lynn's going to collage party. then came home and went to bed. so i went to a lot of parties that day, at least i saw my friends, that all i want. Really one of the best b-days i've ever had... well home work calls ugh back to school sucks haha

Dancing the night away

2005-08-12T22:38:00.000-07:00

So the other night i had the best night of my summer! I went slasa danceing at the Mercury Cafe' (sorry for the spelling). anyways I went with larua From my church and two of her freinds. Her friends going to CSU have to vist them sometime. Yah we took lessons from 6-7 and then did "open floor" from 8-10ish we mixed salsa and swing it was awsome! But now they must all go to colloge. Larua all the way in ohio! but the is e-mail, brakes, and my wounderful blog HAHA. So yah over all best night of the summer!

P.S. My birthday is on the 13th i can finally see "R" movies yay

Update

2005-08-08T16:20:00.000-07:00

ok update on school schedule!

1. Photo 2/Senoir opption
2. choir
3. Us. Econ/Phyco
4. Theatre 4
5. physics
6. english- wells
7. MM 4

HAHA

2005-08-07T16:39:00.000-07:00

How You Life Your Life

http://images.blogthings.com/howdoyouliveyourlifequiz/faces.jpg"> %20color="#000000">You have a good sense of self control and hate to show weakness.
You' think.
You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences.
Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

You Are 30% Weird

http://images.blogthings.com/howweirdareyouquiz/weird-2.jpg"> %20color="#000000">Not enough to scare other people...But sometimes you scare yourself.

Weird Are You?

Your Kissing Purity Score: 74% Pure

http://www.quizdiva.net/kissingpurity/kiss3.jpg"> %20color="#000000">For you, kissing isn' a thing
Lip to lip action makes your heart sing

Kissing Purity Test

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Car Crash

2005-08-05T15:32:00.000-07:00

Well one more thing i can add to my have done list. Chris his some lady in a bmw today! i was shotgun and all i rember is yelling chris and the brakes skidding and then the empacted. But i am amzaed how slow time can go when the addriline kicks in... Oh yah adrline thats some fun stuff! but yah it was a new experince for me. the bmw wasn't really hurt but chris's car got totaled i think everyone is fine. Yah we backed up traffic on the highway for like 2 miles...
Fun stuff... kinda...

Hawk nelson- the things we go through

2005-08-04T11:46:00.000-07:00

These are the things we go throughLet’s take control and be ourselvesLet’s not waste time wondering aboutHow we’re gonna make it outWake up everyone around youLet’s rock until the clock strikes twoStand up for what you believe and shout toHere’s another song from the youth that surround you

1. english
2. men choir ( 3rd choice on my list how i got it idk i can't sing to save my life!)
3.Us. Econ 1st/Psychology(didn't sign up for- wanted world relgions)2nd
4. theatre 4
5.Physics
6.See counselor 1st(have to go in fri)/ Shape up 2nd (wtf i totaly didn't sign up for that either!)
7. MM 4

yah the school sucks haha

2005-07-27T10:18:00.000-07:00

go here this explains what i am feeling right now!!!!!!!!! http://sprott.physics.wisc.edu/pickover/pc/manwoman.html

Oh i got this from a little site with the heading girls suck haha

venting furstantion aka wining so if u don't care don't read

2005-07-25T19:11:00.000-07:00

ok so i am really starting to think my life would make a great soap opera i mean come on. but i do have to take my share of the blame i've made one stupied mistake after another... well when it comes to girls... (yes yes i know i use this to much just to rant and rave but it helps me vent so bare with me) . i really should turn catholic and become a prist haha that way i wouldn't have to deal with this haha j/k i like methodust! but ugh girls drive me mad i do think i know them better then most guys of my age but like all things i still have a lot to learn but that is life isn't it... maybe i let my heart led the way to much i always hear that i am so nice and kind and am great to talk to... maybe i should well be everything i hate, hard, arrogent, cold, stone! ugh i'm am just sick of hope... i hope to much! i never lose it maybe thats the problem. girls are the one thing that i let under my skin i always let down my deffences for but yah i have made a lot of mistakes latly so i am going to change why be the way i am if i always get hurt. it is time to change time to stop hurting for something that is well never gona happen... i give up hope for the some one i can hold and talk to... the person i know well bethere for me... fuck i'm a romatic thats the problem. ugh well i vented thanks for reading...

Yes more pics haaha

2005-07-19T17:43:00.000-07:00

the fort wall emmy got in the way
a really pretty fountian in the middle of san Juan
Zack in the very crowed guys room
I just thought it was a good shot
the massive overly crowed water fall

Some pics of my trip

2005-07-18T18:08:00.000-07:00

some pics! Jenson is getting coconuts but really who gave that kid a knife!

My Work group (from left) Me,Erica,Andy,Eddie(resadent),Mechille,Dawn,Emory

Emmy,katie, utter at the castle/fort in San Jaun
Me in front of a water fall in the only rain forrest on american land
San Jaun i the arctiture and the streets the are paved in blue bricks it was amazing

more to come!

I'm back!

2005-07-17T18:24:00.000-07:00

Ok so i am back from porta rico which was amazing. I was really fun, there was one thing that kinda put a dampper on the hole trip but i tryed to igorn it and have fun anyways, you got to love teenage drama. Anyways i am gona go by a day to day acount no all in one time but over a couple of days.
July9
- we all meet at the church really early and loaded up and hit the air port. We got on the united flight to chicgo. There were little tv screens on the back of the seats and we watch the discovory channel and this little map that showed where we were it was fun and only 2 hrs. Then we got on a really small plane and went to portu rico it was 51/2 hrs long and there where no leg room and that sucked. When we got off the plane to go on the bus to the school we were staying at we all got drinched in swet it was insanely hummid. then we all had to stay in a small class room that night and we were lined up like sardin in a can it sucked. then we crashed which is what i am going to do right now. Day 2 later and pics i took over a hundered now to pic and choose.

Don't judge a book by it cover

2005-07-05T18:52:00.000-07:00

i like looking at the stars there nothing fake about them nothing is hiden they are pinpoints of light that are millions of years old that we see thourgh the atomsphere the reason the twinkle is because of air moveing around simple like all sicence. I like to belive that everyone is excactly who they are on the out side weather it be nice or mean but i know better people are crul by nature it make them feel better it make them "cool" idk i am a total hypocrit in this area but still idk it hurts to see that people can find joy out of other peoples pian. maybe poeple don't show it but it is there maybe its just not one thing maybe life isn't great for them but you don't know that maybe they want something maybe they just want to give up. i've lost my self here so the point is don't just think someone is ok about something because they don't show it look behind their mask and see the truth!

2005-06-30T21:13:00.000-07:00

ok so i took 24 pics the last ones were my favorit but here are some more! sorry but i love my car!

Photos

2005-06-29T18:26:00.000-07:00

so i have been on a kind of soul search of kinds not like a out ragous one but a little one like what do i want for me and my life and who and how to have them and everything but through this i have learned something i have a love in photography it helps me clear my thoughts and work on something that makes me really happy.

silvertide headstrong

2005-06-16T11:04:00.000-07:00

I'm still standing here, awkward and unawareAs you scream the topic's closed, and slam down the telephoneYou swear that you still careBut I'm still standing here confused and somewhat drawnMy head's lost but I'm heartstrong(Yeah I'm heartstrong)You said you've been trying to hold onFor oh so long I've been thinking that you might like to tag alongAnd you came off so smooth with all your character flawsAnd I'm thinking about you and every night I fall(Back into no one's arms, how could you leave this way)I'm still standing here, awkward and unawareAs you scream the topic's closed, and slam down the telephoneYou swear that you still careBut I'm still standing here confused and somewhat drawnMy head's lost but I'm heartstrong(Yeah I'm heartstrong)And you've been trying to pick me up like a ghost from the pastBut you found that it's hard with your blood stained handsYeah it's real hard to get a firm gripAnd every single minute that you think that your heart's too brokeThen your mind kicks in and screams let 'em go 'cause I'm torn asunder with no hopeAnd every night I fall(Back into no one's arms, how could you leave this way)I'm still standing here, awkward and unawareAs you scream the topic's closed, and slam down the telephoneYou swear that you still careBut I'm still standing here confused and somewhat drawnMy head's lost but I'm heartstrong(Yeah I'm heartstrong)I just can't stand to see you smileFrom a picture frameAnd all I wanna do is touch your faceAnd take you far awayI'll take you far awayI'm still standing here, awkward and unawareAs you scream the topic's closed, and slam down the telephoneYou swear that you still careBut I'm still standing here confused and somewhat drawnMy head's lost but I'm heartstrong(Yeah I'm heartstrong)But I'm still standing hereTell me why, and I'm still standing hereAll this time I'm living a lieAnd I'm still standing hereTell me whyAnd I'm still standing hereAnd I'm heartstrongBye bye bye

Show me your boobs

2005-05-29T15:46:00.000-07:00

So we went driveing a while ago and chris yelled out the window "show me your boobs" at some collage girls walking down the street. On are way back home he was like that was funny and just yelled it agian, but some big guy on his phone looked down at him form his and said "what you say to me" chirs just yelled drive drive!

STAR WARS

2005-05-21T19:24:00.000-07:00

ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS WOW WOW WOW! YOU HAVE TO SEE IT I MEAN THE FIGHTING IS AWSOME!!!!!!!

WTF

2005-05-06T16:30:00.000-07:00

So today some ass holes i wont name names,(chirs and Kelby& someone i don't even know) thought it would be funny to write on my car in the school parking lot. You would think oh ya that is funny, i mean done right it is, lots of people do it to there friends. But what friends write "fag" "come out of the closet" "gay pride" "i lick boys" and then draw a giant pinnes on the back of it? It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't in the FUCKING PARKING LOT!!!!! i mean ya everyone sees it know wtf! Its not like its hard to know whos car it is! Theres funny but they crossed a line that wasn't funny!

almost here

2005-05-02T17:44:00.000-07:00

school needs to end who is with me?

2005-04-18T16:22:00.000-07:00

we are the coolest

2005-04-18T16:21:00.001-07:00

amanda is pimpin

2005-04-18T16:21:00.000-07:00

yummy coke

2005-04-18T16:20:00.001-07:00

ahh... lol

2005-04-18T16:20:00.000-07:00

godfather to be...

2005-04-18T16:19:00.001-07:00

so confused

2005-04-18T16:19:00.000-07:00

fun at dinner

2005-04-18T16:13:00.000-07:00

the great austin

last entry

2005-04-07T13:48:00.000-07:00

this is the last blog because i found out all i do on here and bitch. no one wants that well if anyone reads this wich i highly doubt but yah so good bye.

2005-04-06T20:14:00.000-07:00

My life is so weird lol. I am either board out of my mind or have a million things to do. I mean last weekend i was board and did nothing. Today i stayed at school till 7 10 to do sound for battle of the bands. Then i hauled over to church to do day care andplay with little kid, which sounds easy but its really not! i fianlly get home at 9:00. i had dinner but i can't remeber when or what haha. Anyways i still have to do a rehsael on friday at school until like 4 or 5. Then i haul home and eat and go to church, do sound for the highlands ranch choir, which i found out about tuse night and was there until 9 30, the conncert is at 630 so i have to be there at 6 on friday night. Same on sat but i have child care in the morning and at 5 i have to go to school and teach ed about idal because he wont be there on friday after school. Then go to church. then sunday i spend all day at church doing a vrity of yg activetys. then next weekend is prom i wont even go into every thing i have to do that weekend beside prom... so this week and next i will be running on adrealen and nothing else. I should be sound god after this weekend lol. man when it rains it poors...

back to school

2005-04-04T18:47:00.000-07:00

well spring break is over now and i'm really sad. I enjoyed spring break but i wish i would have gone some where. I hear stories of people going place but i guess i'm use to it we never go anywhere so i have to live through other people and there trips. well umm... yah... i think i'm done for know man i'm boaring!

spring break my ...

2005-04-01T21:11:00.000-08:00

yippy home work over spring break... i mean wtf dose break mean to teachers i mean really ugh. i mean i really want to explain the meaning of a break to them but i might get in a lot of trouble so i'll just say this here... it mean no dam home work. I've read for 10 hours for 2 classes and worte to eassys this sucks... well stress is back break is over...

Tears In Heaven

2005-03-26T07:08:00.000-08:00

Would you know my nameIf I saw you in heaven?Would it be the sameIf I saw you in heaven?
I must be strongAnd carry on,'Cause I know I don't belongHere in heaven.
Would you hold my handIf I saw you in heaven?Would you help me standIf I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my wayThrough night and day,'Cause I know I just can't stayHere in heaven.
Time can bring you down,Time can bend your knees.Time can break your heart,Have you begging please, begging please.
Beyond the door,There's peace I'm sure,And I know there'll be no moreTears in heaven.
Would you know my nameIf I saw you in heaven?Would it be the sameIf I saw you in heaven?
I must be strongAnd carry on,'Cause I know I don't belongHere in heaven.
The Eric Clapton Lyric Archive

Prom (cont)

2005-03-24T14:41:00.000-08:00

So last time, i talked to my parents and they said i had to pay for everything. I saw all my money disappering. So i was a little upset. But now to tell the turth i'm really kinda excited for it. I think it well be a lot of fun and i'm gana have a good time. I think we are going to P F Changs for dinner. I hope that i get to see everyone at the dance and hang out with them for a little. I can wait to dance with amanda agian. She is the best dancer i've ever seen, because when she slow dance she can't just go back and forth but had to jump around its really "cutie" ugh i hate that word. I'm just worried that the way i'm going to ask her one, wont work! two, i want her to like it and be something she remebers. three, i want it to be perfect. Ugh. all my ideas suck i have a plan then i hear all these stories and mien sucks compaired well i'll think of something...

Prom?

2005-03-17T15:38:00.000-08:00

So I have to question this hole highschool obession with this dance? Don't get me wrong its a fine tradition and should continue but, somepeople act as if there very life hang on the line of getting a date so they can go. I have over heard some girls talking about how they really want to go but haven't been asked. They then said I don't care who asks me as long as I get to go. Now speaking as a guy this disturbs me, because not only do we have to pay but would pay for some girl that doesn't even want to be there with you... I might piss some people off by saying this( this includes my own girlfriend) But what's the big deal you go out spend lots of money, then go dance, then go to fat city. I mean you can always go to fat city and the school has plenty of dance that aren't $40 a piece w/out dinner. Then everyone has to get all dressed up( hate getting dressed up, not only do I look ridiculous but they're not the most comfortable things to wear either). That a side, also prom has a bad "rep" or "reality" of teens going out and renting hotel rooms, I mean it almost asking for it. Maybe I'm over reacting, I haven't been to one before it could be all its cracked up to be and worth $40 but we'll see. I am looking forward to it for the soul reason that I get to dance with Amanda and hangout with her! So it wont be that bad.

why? anyone! WHY?

2005-03-14T18:56:00.000-08:00

Why is life a rollercaster? Why? Anyone can answer me. I am just sick of it all i mean i fianlly get up, stand up, and no sooner i get sucker punched and land on my ass. Why? Whats the dammed answer? I just want to fell good for a while. I want to know happyness. I find it in a heart i see it when i look at her, forget my problems as i look into her eyes. I don't want to lose that. My last chance. LOST AND CONFUSED whats new...

1 corinthians 12:12

2005-03-13T19:33:00.000-08:00

12The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. 13For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit into one body–whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free–and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
14Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 17If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
21The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don't need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don't need you!” 22On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
27Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 28And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues. 29Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues[d]? Do all interpret? 31But eagerly desire[e] the greater gifts.

Money

2005-03-09T19:27:00.000-08:00

I need a job i don't want one but i need one. I don't have time for one with school and church, but i need money. I really don't want to have to go to work and do some meaningless task but i meed money. Money sucks!

lost

2005-02-26T14:58:00.000-08:00

so as of late the two people i hang out with, well i think they have stopped hang out with me i mean we grown apart i know but know they never want to hang out... so i have no one to hang out with out of school wow this is great... it reminds me of elementer school... not good times, but i lived through that i'll live through this. I can live with out friends its just not that fun... so i will go driveing alot more, which means gas money is going to kill me. blah blah i wine to much!

V-day

2005-02-14T18:23:00.000-08:00

... You know those corny movies where that person is spinning in the rain right after the big love duvy moment? Yah that was me Saturday night after Amanda dropped me off. It was the best time I've had in a long long long time. So we ate dinner at jenns huge huge house which I'm still in awwwww of! The food was something else I mean I felt so rich is looked really nice. I wish my stumic would have let me but it was kinda upset so I couldn't and I'm worried people think I have some eating problem or something... Oh well... So we go to the dance and it was a blast. The dj was better then any we have had in the past. Amanda is the ,ugh, cutest slow dance I know, she can't just slow dance but she shakes her head back and forth its really cute( They have to come up with a better word for cute or at least a mannly version). Then she dropped me off and the music she had on when we said good night made the night just perfect and that is a memory I will not soon forget nor want to. Then today she gave me brownies, the best brownies I've ever had they r really good. And a CD which is really good I love all the songs on it. LOL its V-day so its ok for a sappy story.

Stupid A.K.A. ME!!

2005-02-03T16:26:00.000-08:00

I know I shouldn't care and that I work hard and do my best, I also know I should not be jealous but I am... I am surrounded by 4.0 GPA's I mean come on. My two friends in English they both get A's on everything and I barely pull a C or D. It drives me mad and makes me really depressed I mean come on why can I just get a good grade. I did last year I easily breezed through all my classes, then this year either I've gotten dumber the my classes are just really hard. But if my classes are so hard then why is everyone doing better then me. So I've come to the conclusion I'm retarded and should be in a special ed class, the ironic thing is I want back in something I fought so hard and worked my ass off to get out of. To offer even more evidence as to my stupidity, I offer my PSAT score, at whopping 149, I did better then 52% of the people who took it. My friends all scored if not near or higher then 200... Ugh I should just quite I would be much happier I think, but I know I can't I must push on because I will not follow my sisters path. If I can not look up to her then maybe at lest I can learn from her mistakes... It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't hate my self for getting such bad grades and then get depressed and it made at the poor poor people around me, then I get even madder, at that point I go for a drive or a walk depending on the weather. Then there is math... I wont even go there... Just walking in there is depressing! But life goes on and so must the mask...

Man i am a big nerd

2005-01-29T18:01:00.000-08:00

13% of the people are nerdyer then me!

hmmm...

2005-01-18T16:09:00.000-08:00

I do not believe

I do not believe
All this in front of me
I can’t believe all this in front of me
It’s just too much for me a lone
Drowning under the water
In the light I see your hand
The hand that I’ve been waiting for
The one that will pull me up
I am drowning in this life I live
This life is just to hard for me a lone
You’re the reason I’m here today
Life can kick me down but not you
How can this be, can I look in to your heart
What will I see with in?
In the light I see your hand
The hand that I’ve been waiting for
The one that will pull me up
You saved this soul today
For ever and always yours
For ever and always yours
For ever and always yours

Is There?

2005-01-15T13:20:00.000-08:00

There is a place were you go
there is a place were you run
there is a place were life stops
there is a place

no more pian
no more happyness
no more problems
no more confusion
no more

the place were nothing matters...

UGH.....................!

2005-01-13T14:49:00.000-08:00

so i'm taking a few minates from my overload to try and figure some things out i mean maybe if i write it down spell it out even if it to no one or the invisble internet people here it is. I don't really know why but 7th period today everything just hit me i mean it was like a massive brick landed on me and i started to relize that i had a lot of shit to do and no time to do it and a lot of shit that i have no contral over and that school is the most stressful thing i've ever incountered i mean the stupied adm. are abunch of F******g morons that don't know what there doing. i have 2 books i have to read and write reports on. project on top of projects i mean the only thing clear to me is the fog...

How do you think this up really?

2005-01-09T15:27:00.000-08:00

"My Girl's Ex-Boyfriend"

When he was seeing herYou could see he had his doubtsAnd now he's missing herBecause he knows he's missing outNow it's haunting himThe memories like a ghostHe's so terrifiedCause no one else even comes close

He's a guy that you should feel sorry forHe had the world but he thought that he wanted moreI owe it all to the mistake that he made back thenI owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend

So then, along comes me, This undeserving mess (undeserving mess)Who would believe my lifeWould be so blessed (life would be so blessed)Two years ago He left all that to breath (left all that to breath)Who would of known It would be everything I need

He's a guy that you should feel sorry forHe had the world but he thought that he wanted moreI owe it all to the mistake that he made back thenI owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend

If it wasn't for him I would still be searchingIf it wasn't for himI wouldn't know my best friendIf it wasn't for himHe would be able to seeIf it wasn't for himHe would be as happy as me

She and I settled down you can betThat he is going to have to settle for lessHe's someone that I would hate to beI got the girl and he's left with just the memory.

He's a guy that you should feel sorry forHe had the world but he thought that he wanted moreI owe it all to the mistake that he made back thenI owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend

If it wasn't for him I would still be searchingIf it wasn't for himI wouldn't know my best friendIf it wasn't for himHe would be able to seeIf it wasn't for himHe would be as happy as me

But i could see there point LOL!

Broken cars and cops... also way to much food!!!!

2005-01-07T20:49:00.000-08:00

So i went to go see a movie with two of my friends right... well it was a horror me no like horror it has to do with me tring to sleep that night dosn't work to well. Anyways we got a maga pop corn yah and put a good amount of butter on it, by good amount i mean drowned it, we also put a good amount of slat. We all plan to have heart attacks later. We finshed the movie, i did not scream thank God, we were going to my house to hang out at my humble abode(i really can't spell srry) anyways Chris' car staled in the middle line of the intersection of broadway and highlands ranch... well he called his dad and told him to come help us. We got out and ran to the sidewalk and waited. Then we started to see the truely gifted people who live here in highlands ranch. Even though the energance flashers were on at the time the gifted people would line up behinde it and wait, oh they did, but the truly gifted ones not only lined up but diceded to honk at it, hopeing that the invisble people would move the car, they did fianlly get the idea and drive around it but it took some awhile! Chris' dad fianlly showed and ran to chris' car and tryed to start it for like 10 minates lol! Durning this time we had two cop cars drive right by and turn left, we had to more that almost ran us over, we were talkin to chris' dad in the car, i mean where are the cops when u need one WOW. We had to call the police and ask for help before we got some! But while we waited kelby and chris had the waounderfully idea of rolling a dubby like thing out of a straw rapper from the perivous activity and lighting the end. Are breath passed for smoke and we wait in the walgreens parking lot and passed the "dubby" while laughing, thank god we got board and bared it in the snow to see how long it would burn befor and cops showed or i thing they might have been a little less helpfull. We did fianlly get the car out of the way and towed then we all went to old chichago's for pizza, bad idea i mean more greas wow we were sick. We then all went home and i might just have a heart attck with the greas.